Fun fact: Donald Trump condemns the red cup. SHOCKER.
Real life doesn't stand still, so why should your news? Calling this news is probably a stretch, but in any event, this is what the last week would look like were it a series of photos hung up around Hogwarts:
Republicans
They stood around and said stuff to each other for a long time, and we're already getting tired of watching them. Early onset election fatigue.
Ben Carson said Not True Stuff in his autobiography and people are like "HOLY SHIT A POLITICIAN LIED." I did find a pretty solid truth bomb of his, though.
This is the first statement of his that I feel I can truly get behind.
Cups are the latest weapons in the war on Christmas.
Starbucks made a red cup, which we all know is the color of Satan. As a "Very Nontraditional Secularist But Still Spiritual I Don't Even Know Anymore Guys" Mormon (more on that later), I am pretty new to this whole coffee thing, so the hubub around the Starbucks holiday cup is completely mystifying to me. So fascinating, though. You guys are weird.
In my humble opinion, the real War on Christmas is Christmas itself. Can we celebrate one holiday at a time?! By the time Christmas rolls around, I'm going to be all noel-ed out for the year. I can only take so much festive stimuli in at a time. Don't be a Linda about it.
Utah is having a meltdown.
So, in case you live under a rock and have not heard, the Mormon church recently tried to sneak a pretty shitty policy change into one of their manuals and ended up getting caught in a pretty well deserved media firestorm. As someone who falls on the Mormonism spectrum (where my fellow unorthodox MoFems at? The answer is NOWHERE, because they've all been excommunicated.), I am #done in every way.
Please support LGBT Mormon families because, yes, they exist. Make sure to listen to the people affected by this, but also feel free to be mad as hell yourself.
In better news, we were blessed with trailers for two sequels the world has been desperately needing.
Finding Dory cannot come soon enough. I aspire to be a Dory about life, but I am self-aware enough to know that I am definitely a Marlin. Even about this trailer. Too much excitement.
Also: My Big Fat Greek Wedding, otherwise known as one of the most underrated films of all time. Opa!
